Losers of the Industry

So it's been a long looong time since my last post.
A lot has gone on in my life, and you know me, you know what that "a lot" is, and if you don't know me, well I'm sorry but I keep some of my life to those that I actually see and converse with on a semi-daily basis.
Anyways to the title of this posting.
Losers of the Industry
Let's just say I was fucked over pretty damn well and I can blame my own bitch girly self for not being (as the men in this industry refer to assertive women as) a "cold nasty bitch" from the get-go.
You know what doing "favors" for your "Friends" gets you?
Not even a thank you when they put out their album, record or a thing about their song-I find it so funny when someone sends you their material and you write half of it and it MIRACULOUSLY becomes 100% theirs and 0% yours.
Word to the wise-get EVERYTHING in writing before you write or play a damn note for ANYONE. I don't care if Jesus Christ himself calls you up, or shows up at your door with the "deal of a life time." You tell that Bible thumper to get the fuck out unless he signs on the mother fuckin' dotted line ok?
ok
So now that we have that squared away. Let me share a bit about this "big time acts"
You know what makes them big time? Well some, now not all I'm not going to catagorize EVERY one. They use peoples time and money and they don't pay them, dont' thank them, and don't even use them again on another film, song, show, etc.
It's pathetic.
We are all damn animals and use eachothers talent as our prey.
And I am saying now, the next time I'm asked to do someone a "favor" or asked to do something and told "yes of course you're going to be paid for your time!"
Cough up the dough, sign on the dotted line FIRST.
Because this cold hearted bitch is going to be just that.
Eat that you lying "big shots."
Pathetic taking advantage of newcomers, honesty and good decent people in an industry that's known for being a bunch of lying scum.
You have now made me like my mentors-telling the truth to everyone.
COVER YOUR ASSES and LEAVE THEM FOR DEAD nothing is worth ANYTHING Unless it's in WRITING and NOT just words that are SAID.
peace.
oh wait.....
that doesn't exist anymore!

The No Bull Shit Blog of Emily Carmen Entry 1:

I am going to begin this blog again for everyone to read, that is if they want to, about what it REALLY is like to be a composer/songwriter musician in this day and age. I have always been, or at least tried to be, a very straight to the point, no bullshit type of person. So with that, I'm going to keep my journal as real and true as possible.

For starters I'd like to say that honest true FEMALE composers and songwriters and performers are far and few between. Many, though of course not all, get caught up in the glamorous aspects of what it is to be part of the entertainment industry. Soon what brand you wear, size you are, car you drive, relationship you are in or not in and who you "roll with" mean more than what should be--the music and being yourself.

I have been lucky to have met women in the entertianment industry that have shed a bit of hope upon the fact that real true to themselves and their art composers and artist still exist. And to name a handful of those I have been lucky to know and meet are: Charlyn Bernal, Lisa Coleman, Honey LaRochelle, Susie Bench, Brooke deRosa and Macy Gray. I have been very lucky to have also studied with the most true-to themselves and honest composers out there, Illinois Jacquet, Joel Thome, Ira Newborn, Sonny Kompanek and Steve Sanberg--have all taught me to be tough, and in the end stay true to yourself.

In an industry so corrupted by a quick buck, etc. one might assume that a place like Los Angeles would be just reeking with sleeze...but to be honest, in my experience I have been lucky to meet and become friends with those that have been kinder than even some people I've known my whole life. Oh yes there are those that claim to be all into your music, will keep in touch and all that bull shit. Don't get me wrong it IS out there and you WILL meet them and they WILL try to screw you over...and no matter how slick you think you are...dude you WILL be fooled at least once. Don't kid yourself.

Now about what it is like to be out there right now.

You want the honest no bull shit Emily Carmen answer? It BLOWS [insert favorite curse here] DONKEY [leave to your imagination] BIG TIME!

Why?

well ok let's lay this out...

So you see, when composers constantly offer services for free...a lot of the time, MOST of the time the gigs that ARE out there are NONPAYING. Now, for a while it's all "that's cool i love the music this is awesome" But ha uh yeah ok man..now you have to pay your rent, buy clothes, you get sick, have to go to a doctor, gottah eat, shit, bathe--ya know the whole shin dig. Now these things called BILLS show up and you say to yourself "oh right how do i pay for that?"

Yeah...

There is this whole write up about the composers union...is this really going to happen? And...another question, will it truly make being a composer in this day and age better???

We'll have to wait and see.

SO what the hell is Emily Carmen going to do to pay her damn bills?

Well, as of today, I started my studies in Personal Training. Ill wait for the laughter to die down a bit.

Yes seriously I have decided to do that on the side. I'll get back to you on that in April when I'm certified...for now we'll..as John Lennon puts it "Let it Be" (WARNING: lame jokes will be throughout these entries if they annoy you read no further.)

Frustrations and Fasinations of a Film Scorer's World

So what exactly is it to be a film scorer?

The odd thing is, most people that are not in the music industry, and actually many I've met through the years that are, haven't the slightest idea as to what a film scorer is.

Response's I've gotten when I say what I do:

"what? you keep a tally of films?"

"Music in the movie? Ohhh you mean like the songs they pick to put in a movie?"

and my all time favorite:

"what? there is music in movies?" -- uh yes there is...

I think one of the most frustrating tasks of being a film scorer, is that no one, except for other composers of film, have any idea what it takes to actually do what it is we do.

One of the biggest things...you really can't have much of an ego to be a film scorer...so if you're the type that is "my way or the highway" good luck. Your job is to get as close to what the director's vision, er i mean hears, for their film. If they say "I want a BIG sound here" you have to be ready to reply in Layman's terms...because 99.9% of the time, the director doesn't have a compositional background. So you need references that they'll understand AND most importantly, you can't come across as be-littleing the directors compositional concept. The last thing a film scorer wants is to have a ticked off director. Why?

Well..

a) it'll make the duration of the film unpleasant.

b) it will more than likely get you fired, if the director can find someone else to score the movie instead.

So with that in mind...the director is 99.9% of the time correct.

Now don't get me wrong, of course you are able to give your opinion, I mean they did hire you for the music! Most directors will take their film scorer's opinions to heart. Because of course, getting advice from someone that has experience and expertise in a specific field, will in the end create an overall stronger movie.

Another thing film scorers today find, at least I have found, is that you pretty much become isolated in your own studio domain.

Composing for film takes a LOT of time. You are not just writing little didie's and rifs, you have to watch scenes, make mock ups, send files and clips, get the response of the director, make changes (and i mean NUMEROUS changes, even for a mere 20 seconds and yes even 10 seconds of material.)

Ah and yes there is the lovely thing of modern technology. Which has made the modern day film scorer's life both easier and at the same time even more complicated.

Things like crashing hard drives, locked up software and plug ins, etc. can make a simple task turn into days worth of frustration and the creation of new curse words to exclaim when you are the only one up at 4am with a deadline that was 6 hours earlier.

Any early birds on my block have most likely diagnosed me with advanced turrets by now. I apologise, I should not poke fun at a medical condition. I didn't mean to, I literally mean that the amount of curses and comments out of frustration would make one THINK I suffered from such a condition.

The thing about being a composer of any sorts, and mostly that of a composer, is that your work follows you home.

Unlike a 9-5er or a doctor (that is NOT on call). Once you leave the "office" your work stays there and you can go home and chill. Watch TV, hang out, etc.

But you see, composers, when your studio and work are at home, you work NEVER leaves...especially when you work with people in other time zones, you can be working at say..4am, or be watching a program or having breakfast and have to stop and scurry upstairs to see why a file has yet to send, or re-score a 10 minute sequence that you thought was finally completed by 2am the night before.

A film scorer's work is never done....usually it's only done because a deadline for a festival is coming up and the film must be completed and mixed in time for submitting.

I must say though that despite the crazy hours I spend working and the isolation, yes I am much of a hermit, I do manage to keep my closest friends and social connections. Not that I was a huge social butterfly, BUT I do manage to see the sun every now and then...that is what they still call that yellow ball in the sky right?

There is nothing more satisfying to me than completing a cue and getting a response back from a director that they are thrilled with the music and that it was "exactly what they heard in their head"

One of the funnest (yes I Stephen Colberted a word aka made up a word) and coolest things to me about being a film scorer, is when I watch the film before and after. Meaning...watching the film without the music score and then watching it with it. The change in what is brought out in each scene is awe inspiring. It really shows what a difference music can bring to the screen. And it is something all of us movie-goers and TV watchers take for granted. The average person has NO idea the time spent just to get one little scene to work, or the reason why that tear jerking scene IS so much of a tear jerker!

It's because of us crazy little film scorers....working away at our studios in our little stations, clunking out music and staying up at all hours (even days at a time) coming up with music that makes these movies pull at your heart strings, get your blood flowing and get you cheering for the characters on screen.

I love composing music for movies...and if it means I have to go to bed at the hours the rest of the world is waking up...so be it.

and with that I bid you Goodmorning, and myself Goodnight!

Clone Music

I think one of the most daunting tasks of being a composer/arranger and producer is that no matter how ahead of the game you think you are..there is always a new program/upgrade/website to join/download to be made in order to keep you at least at nearly the heels of the technological aspects of music.

Think about it...when The Beatles worked on an album (remember those? people went to stores with clerks and bought music that was [gasp] on shelves IN A REAL STORE WITH REAL PEOPLE!) they went into a studio, had mics set up by professionals, had George Martin working on arrangments for strings, horns and what not...and they sat down and actually did what they loved to do....WRITE MUSIC.

Nowadays, it's every woman (yes and man) for herself (himself).

I won't utter a word about the economy, ok I lied I just did. But aside from that, who really has a Beatles budget?  Even the studios themselves don't..and if they do, they rarely RARELY are willing to invest in a COMPLETELY unknown artist unless they a) have an already well known artist that supports the newcomer. b) the new comer sounds exactly/similar to an already successful artist on another label that they hope to overcome by marketing the shit out of this newcomer. c) they can shop a particular song to a jingle co., commercial or theme for a TV show.  d) your name is indie and you are so far out there that it is so insane it just may create $$$  or oh yeah e) you are Disney material, aka you have a parent that wants to live vicariously through your success after their career hit it's high mark about 20 years ago.

ok so with that said, maybe not all is lost when it comes to fancy studio record label signing and production..

But for those technology savy or at least attempting to be, geeks and music composers...what is out there for us?

Sweating away understanding the ins and outs of every new gadget that pops up as the NEW must have software to be a success. Pro Tools, Logic anyone? 

Having the most state of the art plug ins so you walk out sounding like the next John Williams after hiting just a c-chord on your crappy MIDI keyboard.

When does music composing become simply "click and drag"?  I was completely horrified that the reason why most modern day hits on the radio makes me cringe..is because yes they all are horribly HORRIBLY auto tuned...c'mon...take a voice lesson or adapt to what you've got.  I can't tell you how disappointing it is when I hear an artist and then hear them live and go "wtf was that seriously the same person singing??" 

They also, use the SAME DAMN PLUG INS AND LOOPS AND OTHER DRAG AND CLICKS!!!!

This is where, true songwriting goes to die...now yes you can call me a bitch, and that I don't know what the hell I am talking about, don't get me wrong I think that there are a lot of awesome beats and songs out there that are completely rocking and kick ass and I'd be honored to have the opportunity to work with any one of those beat makers and artists.  

What I am saying is, when music starts to sound all the same because we are being lead to believe that in order to be successful in composing and songwriting we have to sound like everyone else....something is wrong with that.

Think about this...did Elvis have auto tune? no

Did Janis Joplin? NO

Did Bob Dylan...hahaha no way obviously!!!

Did Led Zep have plug ins and loops that you'd hear and say "hmm that sounds like the loop on Pink Floyd's Darkside of the Moon"

NO

That's all I am saying...

Lets try and go for a unique sound so that way 10, 20, 50 years from now, (if the earth is still here then) people don't listen to what we did and say "oh that was all the same exact shit"

UPDATE UPDATE cuz I like to PROCRASTINATE...
I am CURRENTLY working on a tune where I brutally use Auto Tune...So YES I am being a hypocrite in some extent...I'm straight up with everyone so I don't deny that I am now using what I bitched to death in this posting...i still am all for the make your own shit from scratch and THAT is true composing/songwriting...I'm doin' some fun, no serious tunes mixed with my true to form as well.
Keepin' it as real as possible! Happy new year 4 more days of 2009..thankfully....well, at least for me it's thankfully!
and merry whateveritisyoucelebrate!

Note 2 Self

Note 2 self: Don't start a blog at 2am...

I Am

I am:

A composer

A songwriter

A film scorer

A musician

A lyricist

An arranger

A producer

A performer

I am also:

Strong

Determined

Sarcastic

Funny

Dark

Deep

Bitchy

Kind

Thoughtful

Self centered

Forgiving

Trustworthy

I'm:

Emily Carmen.